Our mission is to unite the Anderson Valley community in efforts that promote community health through grassroots organizing to reduce the presence of drugs in the community and prevent youth substance abuse.

Parenting: If You’re Worried

If you suspect that your child is using drugs or alcohol what do you do?

When you have a suspicion, what do you do? First learn as much as you can. Check out www.TheAntiDrug.com or www.freevibe.com for information on drug and alcohol use by teens. Or, you can call the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information (NCADI) for free pamphlets and fact sheets. They’ll even send the information in a plain envelope, if you wish. They can be reached at 1-800-788-2800.

The next thing you can do is sit down and talk with your child. Be sure to have the conversation when all of you are calm and have plenty of free time. This isn’t an easy task. Your feelings may range from anger to guilt, or you may feel that your have “failed” because your kid is using drugs. This isn’t true. By staying invloved, you can help them stop using drugs and make choices that will make a positive difference in their lives.

Tell your child what you see and how you feel about it. Be specific about the things you have observed that cause concern. Make it known that you found drug paraphernalia (or empty bottles or cans). Explain exactly how their behavior or appearance (bloodshot eyes, different clothing) has changed and why that worries you. Tell them you’ve noticed that they have new friends that you don’t necessarily know or approve of.

It is important to set clear ground rules in your family about drug and alcohol use- e.g., in this family we don’t smoke marijuana- and to let your kids know that you will enforce these rules. Have this discussion without getting mad or accusing your child of being stupid or bad or an embarassment to the family. Knowing that kids are naturally private about their lives, try to find out what’s going on in your child’s life. What is he doing? When was the last time he used? Did he do anything that he regrets? Try not to make the discussion an inquisition; simply try to connect with your teen. Find out if friends or others offered your child drugs at a party or school. Did they try it just out of curiosity, or id they take the initiative to use marijuana or alcohol for some other reason? That alone will be a signal to your child that you take your responsibility as a parent seriously and that you will exercise your parental rights.

Know that you will have this discussion many, many times. Talking to your kids about drugs and alcohol is not a one-time event.

Be prepared for your teen to deny using drugs. Don’t expect them to admit they have a problem. Your child will probably get angry and might try to change the subject. Maybe you’ll be confronted with questions about what you did as a kid. If you are asked, experts agree that it is best to be honest. Answering deceptively can cause you to lose credibility with your kids if they ever find out that you have lied to them. On the other hand, if you don’t feel comfortable answering the question, you may decide that the time is not right to discuss your previous drug use. As with other possibly sensitive topics such as sex, you should talk about it when you’re ready. However, if the time comes to talk about it, you can give short, honest answers.

For more information and suggestions go to: www.TheAntiDrug.com or www.laantidroga.com.

Taken from: “A Brief Action Guide for Parents,” published by PARENTS.the anti-drug